"UNFORGETTABLE"
A Medical Mystery Solved: Learning to live with SAWM
A Medical Mystery Solved: Learning to live with SAWM
My husband has always had this rare memory talent. We never made a big deal about it. Both of just accepted it. I guess we should have questioned it. But we never even gave it a name. I believe if you name something, it ends up sticking around like a stray cat.
Then last month, Randy’s ability was given a name.
“Superior Autobiographical Wardrobe Memory.”
It started with a phone call from the office of Dr. Walton B. Masterson, a name I instantly recognized from a segment on the TV show 60 Minutes. Not that we regularly watch 60 Minutes. It’s just what comes on before a show we enjoy, The Amazing Race. The doctor’s assistant wanted Randy to come into the office and be examined. We had no idea what tests they wanted to perform, but at least we now had a name for what my husband could apparently do.
The assistant working for Dr. Masterson said on the voice message, “We believe Randy is a likely candidate for possessing Superior Autobiographical Wardrobe Memory and we want to test him. Please call us at your earliest convenience so we can discuss the issue with you.”
When I played back the message for Randy, he didn’t seem to have much of a reaction. I thought he would be excited that his skill was perhaps finally being recognized. But his only verbal response was, “If they make me pee in a cup, I’m not going to participate. It’s as simple as that.”
Well, we made our way to UCLA Medical Center and the reception my husband and I received was very much the way I believe major celebrities are treated when they are invited to important events. There was no red carpet, but there were plenty of people anxiously waiting for us to arrive. From the moment we stepped into their offices dozens of medical staff were moving back and forth in front of us, which made taking just a few steps a very slow process. They were asking us both about how we were feeling, or if we needed something to drink, or eat, or even a place to rest, as if all of their other questions were taxing us.
It was nothing like what Randy and I expected to happen. I mean, it wasn’t as if my husband had acquired his skill as a result of an accident we could sue for and we were visiting the law firm interested in working on our behalf. As long as I had known Randy, he’d had this talent. I tried not to think too much about it when I married him, but I soon realized his skill was going to be the defining part of our relationship.
We were led into a conference room where we were introduced to the medical staff and eventually to Dr. Masterson himself. He smiled, shook our hands and took a seat right next to us.
“So do you both know what Superior Autobiographical Wardrobe Memory is?” he asked.
“Well, no,” Randy answered. “But if it’s going to get me this kind of treatment every time I walk through your doors, you can bet I’m going to learn how to fake it.”
Dr. Masterson and everyone on his staff laughed.
“Well, Superior Autobiographical Wardrobe Memory is a neurological condition I first diagnosed. My discovery is so recent we won’t get it entered into the DSM this year, but we’re all hoping for the next edition. Simply put, a person with Superior Autobiographical Wardrobe Memory can remember from any day in their life the people they’ve come in contact with and the clothes those people were wearing. It means—”
“That’s Randy!” I probably shouldn’t have interrupted the doctor. But I was so excited! Everything the doctor was saying aligned so well, it was like one of those “matches” you see on television commercials for any number of Internet dating services. At first it’s easy to scoff at the two people in the advertisement sharing laughs and drinks and sensitive touches, because everyone knows a connection like the one depicted rarely occurs. But just knowing that it somehow happened to the couple on TV can also be life affirming. That’s how I felt at that moment.
“How can you be so sure that Randy has SAWM?”
I was confused at first by the last part of his question, but then I realized the doctor was just taking four long words and smooshing them into one. It was opposite of the way we handled language where I grew up. My family tended to make the shortest of words longer. For example: “Your sister better find someone to take care of her because she’s laaaazzzzyyyy.”
“Yes, sir, I’m sure Randy has it. My husband has always been able to recall anything and everything I’ve ever worn from the day we first met to just last night when we went to our friend’s dinner party. And not just me, but everything his mother wore, his sister wore, even his past girlfriends. Wait until you hear some of the brand names his exes were wearing. Randy definitely traded up when he married me.”
Everyone in the room laughed, except Dr. Masterson. Not that he wasn’t amused by what I was saying; I could just see he was being more cautious.
“I sure do hope you’re right about your husband. In the last three years of searching the entire world for anyone who may have SAWM, we’ve only managed to discover three other people besides my original patient.”
The doctor then turned to Randy. “Do you agree with your wife? Do you think our tests will confirm you have SAWM, or will it reveal you’re just someone that reads a lot of Women’s Wear Daily?”
Randy looked around the room, catching the eyes of the dozen people gathered to meet with us. It would have been intimidating to anyone else as they stared at him with such great expectations, but my husband only smiled.
“Do what you have to do to prove I’m the real deal,” Randy said confidently.
For the next two days I stood in the observation room watching my husband be put through a battery of tests. I was impressed, but not surprised, that he was able to keep an even temper throughout all their poking and jabbing at his brain. After tests to measure his I.Q. and mental state, Dr. Masterson moved on to experiments specifically designed to assess if my husband had SAWM. One such test had Randy being quizzed about random dates from his life.
“Randy, what do you remember about August 28, 2009?”
“Well, my wife spent most of the day in a pair of Reebok sweatpants, a Gap tee shirt and a pair of Adidas running shoes. But then later she changed her outfit because we were attending a wedding that evening. Originally she came out of her walk-in closet wearing a Marc Jacobs, white label, pleated tulip hem dress with a pair of suede Sergo Rossi strappy jewel buckle heels. She also had planned on carrying a Giorgio Armani black tassel drawstring bucket bag, which I told her perfectly matched the strappy heels.”
“But my wife changed her mind... and her outfit. She decided to go for a poppy silk ruffle gown by J Mendel because the one shoulder design would bring attention to her tanned skin and the fitted bodice would highlight her beautiful figure. I thought she had made a great choice, but I was equally excited about her shoes and clutch. The Valentino black bow leather bag with lace overlay was stunning. And the Celine strappy black silk platforms went glam perfect with the poppy silk J Mendel gown.”
My husband was about halfway through describing what each of the wedding guests were wearing that evening before the doctor finally stopped him. Later, I was able to verify the authenticity of Randy’s answers when I brought to the medical facility photos that had been shot on each of the dates he had been asked about.
At a certain point, I was interviewed by Dr. Masterson. He was interested in hearing the details of the challenges I faced over the years living with my husband. One of the situations I related to him was how I struggled with Randy when he showcased his talent at parties. People would pose questions about specific dates, and some of my husband’s answers ended up hurting my feelings.
“April 11, 1984. On that night my lovely wife wore parachute pants and a leather jacket that had exactly twenty-three zippers running all over it.”
It got to the point where I just knew that if anyone asked Randy what I was wearing on any date during the 80s, the evening would end up with me throwing up in the bathroom.
After all the tests were over, Dr. Masterson took us into his office to deliver his findings. Sitting together, I grabbed my husband’s hand to make sure he knew that I was behind him no matter what the future might dictate. It turns out Randy did indeed have SAWM. My husband had no reaction to the diagnosis, but got real excited when he was offered the chance to meet the other four people who were verified to have SAWM. They would all gather together for the first time on a segment to be taped for The Today Show. Immediately Randy turned to me and asked what I planned on wearing for the day of the taping. It’s that kind of attitude which makes it impossible not to love my husband!!!
Postscript: Six months after appearing on The Today Show, Dr. Masterson approached my husband and me with news of a medical breakthrough. He had discovered a “cure” for SAWM. A simple operation would allow the afflicted person to have their memory corrected so they would no longer remember in minute detail the clothes they encountered in their daily lives. After careful deliberation, I told Dr. Masterson we were going to pass on the operation for Randy. It was a decision my husband and I had arrived at jointly. I just was not prepared to give up Randy’s quirky but endearing talent. And my husband was very reluctant to move forward with any surgical procedure when I told him that I simply had nothing to wear that would be memorable for the day of his operation.
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